| Current mood: |  sleepy |
| Current music: | Johnny Cash, American Songs |
From Jules: Pain, pain, go away...
The PT agony continues. It's getting better, which is good, and my range of motion is approaching that of normal people, but there's still a lot of pain.
Funny moment: I was lying on the table while the Evil Physical Therapist was bending my arm and shoulder into painful positions. I was mulling our conversation here: honestly, dude, I can't remember the last time I cried because I was in (physical) pain. I've cried with pain combined with frustration, or fear, or whatever, but not just, "that hurts" followed by tears. And I remember being called a crybaby as a kid (as part of that training that manifesting one's suffering is the mark of weakness) so it's not like I've never done that. It's just that I don't remember having done that as an adult. And, like you, I'll deny that I'm in pain even when it's obviously not true. But here's the funny part: I was mulling this, dry-eyed and staring silently at the ceiling, and the EPT glanced at my face and said hastily, ok, that's enough of that, and stopped. Heh.
Reminds me of the Louden Wainwright song (that Johnny Cash sings on the American Songs disc) about a guy who never cried and after a lot of horrible stuff happens to him, he finally cries and dehydrated himself to death after 40 days and nights. But there's a happy ending, because he goes to heaven and terrible things happen to all the people who hurt him: the prison burns down, his ex-wife dies of stretch marks, etc, etc. It's dark and yet really really funny.
Or maybe my sense of humor is really messed up.
I hear people say now and then, oh, just let it out, crying is so healing, it's just so wrong that people hold it in, blah blah blah. But I'll say this: yes, they're right and all that, but it's also true that it takes extraordinary strength to suffer in silence. It's my party, dammit, and I'll cry if and when I want to.
Whew! Dark. Maybe I shoudn't write this sort of stuff first thing in the morning.
Answers:
1. The "My Ox is Broken" t-shirt IS red, dude. I thought it looked orangey on my screen, too, but the description on the ordering page says it's red. And, why, yes, I have ordered one: I was telling Eliot about the TARCon and how a bunch of people showed up with homemade MOIB t-shirts and he said, oooh, I'd love something like that, so my decision was easy, even if it was orange.
2. First favorite book? Tough one. I remember loving a book that had these beautiful images of snowy woods with leafless trees (I think I'd seen snow in an evergreen forest before, but not a whole forest of bare trees--not so unusual for a Panhandle childhood).
The first book I remember the title of was Alice in Wonderland, which my mother read to us when we were very small--and I remember thinking the pun of the Mouse's Tale/Tail was just amazing and cool.
3. Mia or Johnny Fairplay? Oh, Johnny Fairplay, as much as it pains me. I've had girls like her as a summer camp bunkmate and I'd rather deal with JFP--those girls will mess with your head in ways that Fairplay could never conceive; meanwhile, you can just kick his ass, a language Fairplay understands. Yeah, hitting is against the rules, but the counselors can't be everywhere.
4. Read minds or project thoughts? At first I thought, oo, mind-reading, but the more I think about it the more I think, ew. Too much information. Better to not know. Plus, projecting thoughts into other people's minds would be so totally awesome that I'd probably just go stone-cold evil and do it all the time. Wheee! Evil is fun.
Seasonally-themed questions...
1. Having you been watching the election debates? I have to confess that not only have I not watched the debates, but I've been getting most of my information about them from The Daily Show. Watching the president struggle to form a sentence makes me cringe and the thought that he could be re-elected gives me the shudders.
2. Any public displays of your political views? I've been slowly adding things but now I have a Kerry/Edwards sign in the yard (our block has quite a variety of signs, from not only the Repubs and Dems but also the Libertarians), a "Proud Democrat" banner on the front door and a bumpersticker that says "I don't have to like Bush to love my country." More than most election years.
3. What was your favorite Halloween costume? Mine was the year in high school when a friend and I dressed up as Joan and Christina Crawford. This was soon after Mommie Dearest came out and the abuse in that book was new and horrifying. So we got into a box of my grandmother's old clothes and Renee wore a sweet navy blue suit with tiny white lacey ruffles around the neck and hem, which she accessorized with navy mary janes, white tights, little white gloves and a massive purply-green black eye (so that green eyeshadow didn't go completely to waste, because, what was I thinking?)
And I wore a black suit with huge shoulders, black ankle-strap pumps, black gloves plus makeup (black eyebrows, RED lips, dramatic like Miss Crawford wore) and hair (the big upswept roll above my forehead) that made me unrecognizable. Really, a friend stood right next to me and said, where's Julie? The double-takes I got all evening were hilarious.
4. What's your favorite Halloween candy? I love those teeny candy bars but as a kid my favorite was candy corn.
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dangerchicks) wrote,
